Promise
by teeea
Summary: Edward makes Alphonse a promise that is hurting them both


**Promise**

**Edward:**

I knew it when I saw your beautiful face again. How I missed it. My little brother was beautiful. You were flesh and blood in front of me. You were warm and your heart was finally beating hard and fast again against your chest.

Is it so wrong that I want it to beat for me? Yes, I am selfish.

I have left the military, my work is done now. I gave you your body back and now I cannot stay near you. Because I want to, too much. Have some mercy…

This train makes me sick. Everything about leaving you makes me sick. The changing scenery while I travel further away from you makes me sick. Why are you leaving, Ed, you ask.

Because you are my little brother and I could never take that away from you. I could never hurt you.

You don't understand, but you let me go.

I step out of the train and the air is hot and thick. I am sick. I want to lay down and sleep it all away, but even in my sleep I would think of you. Someone asks if I am fine. I say yes and they leave me alone.

Al, without you I cannot breathe. Drown me.

**Alphonse:**

I've always felt it even though I didn't have a heart. Now that I do, my heart is broken. You were always the strong one, guiding me, never letting me drown. Is that why I couldn't be the first one to say it out loud?

When I got my body back I really felt it. My heart started beating faster and my face burned like the hottest fire when you were near.

My heart beats for you, Ed. My whole body is for you. Put me back into that armour if you don't want it.

I sit in the empty room. You are gone. Please come back. I want to scream and I do. A voice that sounds so unfamiliar and raw fills my consciousness. Is that me? Am I that raw inside? Red, hot pain is ripping everything apart.

What am I going to do without you? I cannot breathe.

**Edward: **

I walk into the sea. The water is not cold this time of the year. High and powerful waves make it hard to keep walking. I don't care. Just drown me.

I told you once, not with words but with something else: "Look at me. Look what I have become. Look how I give myself to you. You can do anything you want to me."

You stood there. You understood, didn't you, Al? In the woods that day, it could have changed everything.

I closed my eyes. _Touch me. Al, please, _I thought. Finally you touched my hand carefully. I opened my eyes and yours were wild and begging. For what?

And the sky was on fire and we had to run. The moment passed.

**Al****phonse: **

When I see you worried for me, I want to take that burden from you and carry it for you. You already gave me my body back. There's no need to worry, Brother. But you still do.

When I see you reading your books, I want to kiss every single worry away. I want to guide you like you guide me.

I don't care that you are explosive like dynamite. I want you to sparkle, see that fire alive. Not dying like it has been recently.

That day in the woods could have changed everything. But I was scared that we both get burnt. I didn't want to see it all ruined.

I shouldn't feel like this for you, Brother. For a moment I though you _loved_ me. The way you looked at me was not from this world.

Then the moment passed.

**Edward: **

I cannot breathe. There's water in my lungs, I cough. Something heavy tries to take me away. Al, I cannot breathe without you.

No. _Who is going to take care of you if I am not near?_

I walk away from the easy way. Love is meant to hurt. This love hurts like hell, but who said I wanted it the easy way?

**Alphonse: **

You are back, Ed. I can breathe.

You sit in the next room and I cannot look at you. I cannot touch you, but you are back.

Please give me a sign. Show me that what I saw in the woods wasn't my imagination. If you give me a sign, I am yours, Ed. If you hold me, I never want you to stop.

I tell you I am happy that you are back. Don't go again. You say you will look after me like a good big brother.

What if I don't want that, Brother? Look after me like something more?

**Edward: **

Whenever I am near you I feel at peace. I watch you take clumsy steps because you're still learning your new body. I want to take you in my arms and tell you that everything will be fine. And when I do, your smell nearly makes me lose all control.

Whoever hurts you, I will crush it. I promise you, it will never be me.

You will always be my beautiful little brother.


End file.
